I want to control everything. And that, we know boys and girls, is just not possible. Or reasonable. I have become a worrier. It’s so annoying.
Yet, I have a lot to be thankful and grateful for. Like most people. And like most people I can easily forget that. First, I have checked the family archives multiple times. I am never going to be an heiress or socialite. Believe me. I’ve done the research. Facing reality, I am grateful to have a job in the small beach town in which I grew up that is less than 10 minutes from my house, offers good benefits, consists of a good team and is something I can believe in doing every day. I’ve never worked for another organization this long. Granted that is because we have moved for my husband’s job a few times. I am thankful to have a good job that I enjoy at Beebe.
I am thankful for my family, my blood relatives and the crazy family that I married into that I consider my blood relatives. They are my people and I love spending time with them. I can’t imagine having more fun than with anyone else than my husband. Although I must admit, my mom is pretty darn fun. And my dad enjoys a good dirty martini as much as I do. I have learned throughout the years that I thought I was my mother’s daughter because of my love of all carbs and in particular French fries, but it has become apparent, I am my father’s daughter. And therefore, I must say, watch out world! Okay watch out Puerto Vallarta!
I currently have three cats. And I have had more that I have lost. I have loved each of them as mush as they have unconditionally loved me. There isn’t anything like the love an animal can give you and believe you me, I love walking in the door to see the little nugget come to greet me. Maybe it’s because she knows I feed her and that’s okay – I will take it!
As someone who was diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year, I can throw myself a really good pity party, but I can also say I’m thankful. I have had chronic back pain since I was a teenager. I have struggled with it. I was lucky enough that the first major pain I had at my summer job my dad happened to be at the restaurant having lunch and could take me to the ER. A few years later when it happened again, my dear friend was able to take me. Both times my mom was around to give me mom love – which is the best – for the three days I was confined to laying on the floor – doctor’s orders. When I was in a car accident years later before moving home from California, a co-worker was able to come and get me and take me home since my car was totaled. I have since learned this is likely what led to my chronic pain and fibro diagnosis. This has helped the crazy inside of me that has to have a reason for everything and know the WHY for every little thing. I have always been surrounded by an inner circle of good people even though I continue to struggle with being open about being diagnosed with fibro (as I call it because I don’t feel the need to say the entire word over and over….) and talking about it. How can it be real if it’s something you can’t see? The pain is real, believe you me. There are a few people I always talk to about my pain and they just listen. That is what I need, someone to listen so I don’t feel so isolated. I even have an IG friend in Australia that I send questions to who also has the same diagnosis! (See social media isn’t all THAT bad!) It can be very hard, and you feel like you are a burden on everyone. These few people make it okay. And for them I am SUPER grateful.
Growing up in a beach town, I have learned that I can’t live anywhere else. I went from Delaware to San Francisco to Huntington Beach and back. I realized this summer that for my body, the beach is my happy place. One day on the beach in July I felt the best I had physically felt in a few months. I felt so good that it became apparent all of a sudden and felt like it hit me like a ton of bricks. Well, maybe like a ton of feathers because for the first time there was nothing weighing down my muscles! There is something about the every part of the beach. The warmth of the sand on your feet, the smell of the salt water and the suntan lotion, the feel of the water as it washes away all the stuff and the sound of the seagulls – yes even the seagulls. I’ve tried to start going down to just walk on the beach for even just 10 to 15 minutes this late fall when it’s cold. Just being there is so calming. It’s a natural stress reliever.
I am a self-proclaimed music junkie. I love most music. It takes me to my happy place. My husband is always kind enough to sit in the car in the driveway with me and listen to that one last song before heading in for the night. Sometimes he will even sing with me but never as loud as me. There’s nothing like a good dance party and it’s not only good for my soul but almost nothing soothes my body like dancing around my living room (or Sam’s) to old music or honestly, good old smooth jazz. Don’t get it? Doesn’t matter. It’s all about the music. I realized when we recently saw the Gypsy Kings at the Freeman Stage (my favorite venue for live music!!) that when people where my jewelry I want them to get the same feeling that I do when I listen to live music. There is just nothing that compares to that feeling!
This time last year I started on my jewelry journey and if you told me that I’d have a website with items for sale, would have had my first launch party and would be thinking strategically about my next steps…I’m not going to lie I probably would have told you I didn’t believe you. I have thrown out my wildest dreams and maybe those haven’t exactly come true yet, but I also know I need to hustle a little (okay A LOT) harder. One big lesson I’ve learned though is that I need to come up with a plan that works for me and continue to educate myself. Then, I think things will begin to fall into place more for me and my dreams.
For now, I’ll just continue to rock out to whatever comes on the radio and throw out my hopes and dreams to the universe because I know she’s listening. And I bet she’s got a lot of the same music on her playlist that I do.